Monday, June 8, 2009

Paying Attention

Tomorrow (today, after I sleep) I will want to walk.  The activity is really about pleasure, and has become a kind of hobby.  I stroll.  I think deep thoughts.  I look and I see.  I pick a direction and walk half the time I want to spend walking and then, turn around and try to find a new way home.  I have learned much about several cities this way.  Three in particular.  I prefer to walk alone. When I pass by an interesting shop window, I can stop, or go in.  I can decide I need some french fries or a haircut without discussion.  Mmmm, french fries.  I would like some right now, please.

I don't like public transportation.  I have and will use it, but I got stuck once on the subway in NY.  I was with my best friend and we were on our way to watch "court in session" downtown. The train stopped between stations.  Over the loud speaker we heard "Conductor!  conductor!
...AHHH!"  Shortly thereafter the train lurched, went dark for a few minutes, then, the lights came on and we got on to the next station.  My best friend and I leapt off the train and headed above ground.  We didn't look back.  We never found out what happened.  We decided then and there we had enough money to take taxis.   (Later we got kicked out of court for laughing... which we thought was HI-larious ... another story.)  I have ridden the subway since, but cautiously.  In NY in particular, I'd rather walk!  I was there recently for a couple of weeks off and on.  I took the subway once when it was raining (I'm from California .. we don't understand rain) and once when I was running late.  It took the same amount of time that it would have had I walked.

Years ago, I lived on the East Side of town.  (Not the Upper East Side, more like the Mid East Side near 1st and 42nd Street. Tudor City if you know New York.)  It took me 30 minutes to get to Broadway (where I was working at the time.)  It took me 30 minutes whether I walked, took a bus, took a taxi or hopped on the Grand Central shuttle to Time's Square.  It just didn't matter.  Oh, once it did take me nearly an hour.  It was the day after the ice storm.  The trees were encased in glass! Astounding.  I had to stop and stare.  I'd never seen that before, wow.

Once around Christmas I was walking past the UN Building on 1st... literally across the street from my apt. building.  I couldn't help but notice box after box, constructions really, of homeless people creating shelter.  My heart broke.  I remember investigating soup kitchens, but decided I needed to do something more...I don't know, human.  I got some amount of money in one dollar bills (don't remember how much) and stuck a dollar in every box, every sleeping bag, every construct.  Some of the homeless just looked at me, surprised.  Some smiled, some said, "God bless you."  Some looked a little confused and bleary-eyed.  Some were asleep.  There were so many!  This was Christmas 1993.  Gosh, I hope it is better now.  There is where I'd like to see some of my tax dollars spent.  Helping those poor people get on their feet. 

There is a phrase, "There, but for the grace of God, go I."  I believe that we make choices in our lives that put us where we are.  If one is relatively healthy, one needs to take responsibility for those choices.  My compassion is fairly vast, but it does have limits.  I know we sent a lot of mentally ill or extremely handicapped people to the streets with budget cuts.  I know we sent veterans to the street too.  My tax dollars!  Spend them there!  However, I am not naive.  I know there are people out there taking advantage of the system.  I see them all the time.  But, the truly needy people suffer because of these indigents!  We have a huge problem in this country.  We classify people too much.  We assign labels and treat each individual as if he/she was part of some conspiracy to steal our money.  The truth is some people NEED help.  They are people.  I don't think dogs should die in the street, but, these PEOPLE shouldn't die in the street like dogs.  

Oh, the places my mind is visiting tonight.  I moved back to California.  At least my homeless people aren't freezing 4 months each year.  

I am going to listen to a little music and go to bed.  The Lakers won!  Federer did it this morning!   Marcia won her Tony!   I'm trying to pay attention.
  

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