When We Are Lucky.

My Cast is a little melancholy. The end is near. 10 days left. 9 shows. Some of us were chatting after Coriolanus tonight about what a great company, and what great company we've been. No drama, except on the stage. We all like each other. We work and play well together. We'll miss this.

And this too shall pass. All things do. Even the good things. So, we'll say goodbye and look to the next challenge. In the meantime, we will enjoy what we've created together and hope to work together again one day. Bittersweet. (I still miss people from my first Rep, four years ago.)

I am hoping I will find the time and interest to continue my blog when I return home. This blog has been a great outlet for me, exploring the random nature of my thoughts, recording them and rereading what those days held for me. It is all so ephemeral. Like Time. Like a dream I once had.

It is like a dream. In this case, a really really good dream. I will feel that way when I've unloaded my car of 6 months worth of memories and clothes. It will feel like I am returning from a long sleep. I am ready. I am ready to return to my life, my love, my home.

When I did Angels on Broadway, I remember thinking "I am so glad I am doing this. I am so very happy on Broadway. The community is fantastic, the experience truly awesome." But... I hated living in that city. I felt trapped. I couldn't see enough sky, or enough forest. The streets smelled funny and funky. (Central Park is not a forest. It is a park, albeit a very large park. The East River is not the Pacific, hell, it is not even an ocean!) I am very much a California Girl. I wished the year away, wanting to remember living it, instead of actually living it. (I mean, I did live it, I just was unhappy and alone.)

I am alone a lot here too. But somehow it is okay. The sun, my quest for the sea, the proximity to home make San Diego a better fit for me. I know every theatre professional wants to do Broadway. I've done it. Okay? I've done Broadway 3 times. And I've done Radio City too. I've done NY. I just want to visit now. Or get paid a lot of money to come work on a great project for a couple of months. About the length of my tolerance for NYC.

London was a bit better. It felt like a cleaner New York. Honestly, LA does not feel like a city. (We live in a suburb. LA is a collection of suburbs.) San Francisco is my favorite city. Beautiful and small. Clean and perfect. San Diego is a bigger city than one might expect. It feels larger than San Francisco, I don't actually know... it just feels bigger. San Diego would be perfect, except for the politics of the place. Maybe I just prefer the space I'm afforded in Los Angeles. City folk have no concept of space. I have room in LA. I have a room in San Diego. And, my San Diego apartment is about 3 times the size of my NY apartment, which was larger than my flat in London. (If I opened the bed I couldn't open the front door. I had to leave the bathroom door open at night because of the same problem. I had to back in to the bathroom because it was so narrow. Okay, I was heavier, then. Leave me alone!) The point? Different concepts of space.

So, what am I really talking about here? Space and Time. I knew it! I should have been a theoretical physicist or a mathematician. (I was once a Math Major. hmm.)

I will live in Los Angeles because it is what makes me happy, and, like most people in my profession, I will travel for work. We are all peripatetic, we are all gypsies. It is the nature of the business. It has to be okay. I will return and live at home when I can, and work where work calls to me or needs me.

Life is and has to be good; it is what we make it so. And (for my best friend), "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

We travel; we travel through time and space. When we are lucky, we travel through time and space together.