And Yet...

And yet... Each new experience brings us closer to perfection. Striving for it, working towards it, never quite reaching it, but coming quite close. Maybe it is good to never be quite satisfied. We strive and we learn. We rest and we live to fight another day. We wake up and recognize a new day, with renewed hope and vision.

Didn't you think it was all flawless?

I don't. I didn't.

You know what? I just don't.

Maybe there is a bit of wisdom, and some may call this too meticulous. I just don't. Some comments don't help. Some days we just need to let it lie. Walk away. Let us all move on to the next day. It is not cowardice; it is feeling that some problems are better resolved later. Later, like Tuesday. Let us all take a day off and consider, and do some laundry, and pick out something really special for the ones who have earned an opening night present. Yeah. Moving forward through the week.

I like that. Another milestone reached. Moving Forward. (Great advice for everyone. Let us all just move forward.)

And here I am, moving forward.

Words.

I think, when things go well, it is often because we have paid attention, worked hard, followed a plan and trusted our instincts. This may be too much of a generalization. Some people come down with strange diseases or chronic conditions they played no part in contracting. Some people are devastated by wildfires, tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, mudslides, and the plethora of other natural disasters. But, on a day to day, moment to moment basis, I feel that we can in fact take some control over our own lives. This is so satisfying and often has the intended result; this is a good day.

I miss my people. I miss sharing all these wondrous moments with them.. (with him.)

With all the media we have today,

We keep in touch in varietal ways,

So, it's okay, it's okay. I say

Move on to the next chapter.

He'll come in bringing laughter.

Our happily ever after.

The compromise accepted

The loneliness corrected

Perhaps a shaft erected (ha!)

And all becomes well

In the days we all dwell

After moments in hell...

We heal.

(Sorry, I've been doing Rostand, and he rhymes everything!)

A poem using homophones.

(not a rhyme):

Will Will marry Mary?

Will Mary marry Will?

Will will marry Mary.

Mary will marry Will.

I love words, and caps and how meaning can change.

PS: I already miss you Michael. Wish it didn't have to end this way. You were too weird and too wonderful. Peace.

Let Your Mind Go...

Quiet. Hm. Sometimes all we need is a little time to be quiet. Don't think. I say "zen it all", but my mom used to say "you already know how to be quiet, you learned to pray." What is the difference between saying 10 "Hail Mary's" and "Om ne oh ho ringae kiyo" ? They are both just litanies designed to clear our minds. My mom said "You don't need to learn how to meditate. You already know how." I think, Catholics who were taught to pray, do know this. I don't believe anymore, but I will use those very particular chants to clear my head. Or to sleep, or to grieve. hm.

Maybe it is in the repetition. The rote. Maybe it is in how easy this is and how calm it makes one feel. There is a kind of freedom in letting your mind go. (And the body will follow.)

If you get that reference, well, then, you know me.

Making It Look Easy, (and a non sequitur)

I shared a picture featuring one of my directors in the audience while I sat behind him at my tech table. I described the picture thus: "There I am, in the background, facilitating the process." This is a true statement and may be the best way I can describe stage managing. My job is to make everyone else's job easier and to create an environment where others can do the work.

Oddly, the process of facilitating is anything but easy. It is as much about charm as it is about organization. It is about adapting and changing. It is about problem-solving and quick thinking. It is about listening, really listening to one's company members, and responding. One has to find joy in it all, or the job is impossible to do. No... I should say... impossible to do well. Or, perhaps more personally, without joy I find the work tedious and impossible.

Most of the time, I wake up excited for the day ahead. Sometimes, I can't wait and go in early just to chat with my fellows or to just sit in the empty theatre. Sometimes, I'd rather be sleeping. This time, I wake up early and walk to work. It gives me the time to reflect and get ready for the day. This job is, in many ways, a "head" thing. Many days I beat everyone else to work. (Annoys my assistants, who are coming at their call-times and earlier. "Oh, you are already here!?" This cracks me up.) Other days, I stroll in a little late, confident my assistants are there, covering and problem-solving. I love being a bit mercurial. Keeps my people on their toes! And all of this works. It works.

My opinion. My experience. (Yours may vary.)

Not sure I like twitter. Not sure I need it. Appreciate its applications. But.. Time, as it does, will tell.

Rest is Good

I know why I watch so much mindless television. I don't have to think or engage. If someone calls I can turn the tv off and not feel imposed upon. It passes the time. It allows my brain to sleep. (God knows my brain is active most of the night. My dreams. Another blog.) Sometimes I say it is because it helps me in my business. That one is a bit of prevarication. (Though, I do take the time to watch and appreciate my colleagues.) In the end, it is all these things, but, I think the ultimate reason may be that it is too hard to read anymore. I say this as someone who used to read 3 books a week, working or not. I'd stay up all night finishing a novel. My free time was spent at the bookstore. But with allergies (drippy eyes) and age, trifocals in my glasses, it is difficult to relax with a book. Relaxing is not about "difficult", after all. So, I watch too much mindlessness. I may or may not learn something. It is certainly not something I'm proud of. But, I am not sure I care. The endless thinking ceases for a time, and my brain gets a little rest. Rest is good.

Late night thoughts

Some people you just love. And they can do no wrong. Some people make your world and work easier. I love those people.

Thanks...for a great show. Thanks for being part of my crew. Thanks for coming back again to work with me.

m.