The Job Hunt, Part Who Gives a F***.

My aunt asked me today, "What is your dream job?" Without a thought, I said, "The job I just lost." It was then I realized I needed to rethink my ambitions. As I tried to explain to my Dad why increasing my presence at the university was not on my list of exciting job prospects and that I'd already turned down two minor promotions, (for reasons best discussed elsewhere) I started thinking..."What do I want?"

My priorities have changed dramatically from the priorities I'd set when I first started stage managing. I was very ambitious and wanted to work on new plays. I wanted to be a part of theatre history. I wanted to work on Broadway, or, at least do one show on Broadway, just for the cache. I wanted my name in published versions of the plays I'd done. I wanted a solid reputation for protecting my shows. I wanted to share my knowledge.

I've done it. I've done all that. I've stage managed a lot of new plays. I made my reputation that way. It took me to Broadway. I've done 3 shows on Broadway and a show at Radio City Music Hall. Quite enough, thank-you. My name is in dozens of books, published plays, newspapers and a magazine. I've done a pod-cast for USC on stage management. I've just been asked for an interview by a grad student. I'm listed in "Who's Who." I've done it.

I knew this 5 years ago, when I accepted the job at The Old Globe in San Diego stage managing The Shakespeare Festival. I was very aware that I'd accepted a job that would take me out of circulation and out of the consciousness of the larger world of theatre in America. I wanted a respite. I liked the idea of doing Shakespeare (a dead playwright) and calling 3 different shows a week. I loved the idea of forming a company that would return with me. I have to say, the whole experience was marvelous! I loved doing those shows. Although I'd never done Shakespeare before and had an incredibly complicated schedule and a huge company, in a lot of ways the job was easier than what I'd been doing for years and far more satisfying. Comforting, really. The experience was so good I went back year after year, getting further and further away from my roots. (I now have 11 Shakespeare plays under my belt. Not bad. I'm an expert!)

Forced to move on, (or back?) I'm greeted warmly and with outrage at the betrayal I've endured. I'm told, "Don't worry, don't panic. You are too good. You will get work." But no one is offering a comparative job. Not even close. I've been gone too long and the larger world of theatre has had to move on without me. (My past students are getting a lot of work. This is a good thing. I'm proud of them.)

So. Re-thinking. What do I need? Well. I need to make a living. I need health insurance for my husband and myself. I need to use my talents. What do I want? I want to work with like-minded people. I want to be part of a family. I want a little security. I want to work and see that the result of my work has an impact.

I'm thinking.... corporate. Yes. I've applied to Disney. They need a Project Manager. I'm over-qualified, but old friends want me to interview. They are happy at Disney. They want me to join them. I'm holding my breath.

I'm going in.