Sucking It Up.

The most interesting thing I've discovered in the last few weeks, looking for work, is that I know someone at every single theatre I've contacted. The lesson here is, burn no bridges. I have reconnected with long lost friends and stand in hope that the last argument I had with someone else weighs less in his/her mind than it does in mine.

We are a very small community. We can't afford to burn bridges. This is the politics of theatre.

I don't want to play politics. I just want to work. I just want my reputation to speak for me. What I've discovered is that if people don't know you are looking, they can't speak for you or offer you a job.

I've conceded. I've let everyone know I need work. I didn't want to ask. I've not had to ask in 25 years or more. I felt shy. I was wrong. The support and the relationships I've built over the years are paying off. Offers are coming in. All because I sucked it up and asked.

We are a community. We do, in fact, look out for each other. I am supported. I am heartened.

I love us.

"Don't Panic."

I may suffer from logorrhea, but I will endeavor to be ever perspicacious.

It is interesting, to say the least, how many emotions one can have in a two week period. I travel from fury and frustration to the land of the bereft and back to the realm of acceptance. I see that I can move forward and yet I am frozen in place. I am ever confident and I've lost hope. Oh, wait, there it is again. Today is a new day. Nope, it is just like yesterday, again. I appreciate that a part of me is grieving, then I remember the worst day of my life was when my mother died. No loss of job or position can compare. I survived my mother's death. (I had dinner with Dad, just tonight...) I can survive this very minor, albeit surprising, shift.

I had a dear friend remind me today:

1. My reputation and my body of work speaks for me.

2. I am embarking on yet another new and exciting adventure. I just don't yet know what that will be.

3. I have more to learn.

4. I have nothing to fear.

"Don't Panic"

The New Year will offer new challenges for us all.

I am here... (and you are there and we are all together...)