Worrying, trying not to.
Wishing for a trip. (or two)
Poor attempt at haiku. Adding too many syllables to explain and to be clever. Takes away from the elegance.
Alas, I fear my real poetry days are behind me. What seems to be inescapable for the near future are the needs of my wider family. I will endeavor to address those needs and help as I can. What I sometimes want feels a bit immaterial and unimportant by contrast. (And selfish.) I have spent a good part of October lazy, but have spent days trying to help. Here we are in November, and I really feel like I need to find another job, bring in a bit more money, and continue to invest in the future of the family's kids. This is all good.
What I want is to read the newspaper every day. To walk 2 hours a day and still find the time to read a book. To slowly clean out my closets (reduce! simplify!) and to get rid of all those boxes in the garage we've not looked into in 10 years.
I want to see more theatre.
I don't want to cook Thanksgiving for 30 people (again). I won't do it. I've done it since my mother died and I'm done. I've said as much. (And yet, I find I am already offering cooking advice to the other 28.) I will cook for my husband. I will visit the 28 if I can.
I get tired this time of year. I want to sleep until I wake up. I want to take naps. I sometimes hate when the phone rings. (I sometimes love when the phone rings... I don't have to be consistent, damn it!)
I just want more time.
More time to be there for you.
More time for myself.
Time. The theme of my haikus. The theme of my life, in a way. Time, where does it go and how does the passage of time serve us? And maybe it is all okay anyway.
Enigmas of life
Floating through the firmament
Looking up, we hope.
xo
No comments:
Post a Comment