Monday, October 1, 2018

Believe the Women

 I was assaulted in college by a "friend." I told maybe two people who did not really believe me and defended him. I am sure they would not remember what I told them all those years ago. In my insecurity, I let the incident go but did not attend any function where my attacker was present. I never saw him again. I also never tried to tell anyone after that. Not until very recently. (I did tell my husband before we were married.) I didn't understand that what this boy did was illegal and prosecutable. I was maybe 20 years old. He was maybe 21? I remember a lot. I know where this happened. I don't know the date. I don't remember why we were alone in my apartment. It was during the day. I remember his first name, but I would recognize his last name in a second. I remember my fear and my screaming and yelling and "no no" and how I kept trying to hit him and how heavy he was and how I tried to push him away. (I finally scared him off me and he offered his hand. I refused, and he left me on the floor and scurried out the door, apologetically.) This was in late 1974 or 1975. At least 43 years ago. All this recent news has brought the trauma back to me. I am not lying that I know who assaulted me. I am not confused. I was never treated for PTSD or anything else. I had never heard of that in regards to a sexual assault. (PTSD was not recognized by the American Psychiatric Society until 1980.) It was a different time. I have no "proof." But it happened and I'll be damned if anyone claims I didn't experience exactly what I've described. We must believe the women.

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