My Struggle. (And A Bit About The Tonys.)

I've been talking to a friend of mine lately about nutrition. It can be a complicated subject with doctors and nutritionists and people who've explored the world of food all with differing opinions. I'd like to write about my own experience and my own battle with weight.

I've been overweight most of my life. In high school I weighed 120 pounds and my friends told me, "You'd be so cute if you lost weight." I WAS 120 POUNDS. I wasn't that overweight. Okay, I was 5'2" at the time and could have lost maybe 5 pounds.. but please!

I went to college and discovered my first real boyfriend. Okay, the first one I slept with. He was so obsessed with me that he didn't want me to be desirable to anyone else. He wanted me fat. He took me to hamburger joints at midnight all over Los Angeles. Yeah.. I got up to 150 pounds. I gained 20 pounds my first year in college. (Grass didn't help.)

He and I separated after a couple of years.  I didn't have any money and ate only spinach and hamburger for many months. (All I could afford.) I weighed 118 when I met my husband and 113 as I spent more time avoiding men than I did trying to flirt.

I got comfortable. I got busy. I worked a lot. I got fat. Slowly, over many years I made my way (weigh) up to around 206. Yikes. Hard to admit, but I have photos.

I finally got a job that made me happy. (I didn't even realize how unhappy I'd been.)  I lost over 60 pounds. I was down to 152. Not perfect, but not too bad. The job required me to walk a lot. I discovered it took less time to walk to work than to drive and look for a place to park. The job required me to walk a lot back and forth from the office to the rehearsal studio. I loved it. I started walking for pleasure. Walking. Really, strolling. I wore flip-flops. I didn't have much time to eat and I tended to eat vegetarian. (I'm allergic to fish, this will come into play later.)

The job ended after four years and I was at a loss. I was looking for work, found something really hard, but kept walking, even out of town. My doctor saw my blood work and asked, "Are you a vegetarian?" I'm not, but I'd been eating like one. Again. I can't eat fish. I was deficient in B12 and folic acid. Fowl doesn't help this. I had to eat red meat now and again. (Or lots of beans.) Pretty girl.

That last job ended and all I could do was sit on the couch and eat. And eat. I gained half of the weight back.

And then I remembered to take my own advice to friends who are depressed. "Shut up and just do something." I started a little weight training. I have two 3 pound weights. I use them. Five minutes a day is all I gave myself. I started with a very few weight lifting exercises. I did ten reps at first, and now I'm up to 30. Some reps are easy.. 10 became 50. My five minute routine is now 15-20 minutes. I like it. But I started small. And I walk. Sometimes it is just up to the main road. Only about a mile. Sometimes I like the way it all feels and I walk five miles. I've decided it just doesn't matter. No pressure.

But, I feel better.

It took me two full weeks to lose a pound. Perseverance is everything. So hard to not be discouraged. I had to train myself to look at the scale only once a week. I've lost 4 pounds since I've had the courage to look at a scale. (I never look at the scale on the way up and I only look at the scale when my clothes are looser!)

It is all okay.

I made potatoes tonight with a little olive oil, rosemary and garlic. So good and no butter. I made turkey burgers with onions and red and yellow bell peppers cut up and inside. No bread. (Okay, I had a tortilla and Phil had pita.) I made a salad. Yes, I used iceburg lettuce, but I augmented it with spinach leaves, tomatoes and basil. All very satisfying and all very tasty!

I can lose weight. I don't even have to sacrifice. I just have to remember to avoid food when I am not hungry and to recognize that when I am hungry, my body is supplying me. I enjoy the feeling of hunger. I enjoy not being overly full. I like walking. I like lifting weights. I like how it all clears my head.

I will be lean.

Then, I'll quit smoking.

lol.

There is an end point here. I've discovered, for myself, that starting small works. A little bit a bit at a time makes all the difference in the world.

love and health to you!

mkk

PS: A random comment. I thought the Tonys were wonderful this year. I appreciate the need to sell ourselves and I think we did a really good job! Excellent! (My heart soared and broke when they finally recognized the brilliant stage manager Beverly Randolph in the memoriam. First time I've ever seen one of us included. I'm proud to have met her. She welcomed me into the Broadway community. She was so kind to me when I was new to Broadway. Thank you for recognizing her contribution!)