Extremely Random Thoughts.

Finally, a day off.  I am going to make a stew.  I need to eat something besides Marie Callendar's and take-out.  A stew will last all week.  Maybe a bit boring, but far tastier and less salty than the crap I've been eating.  I need a wife.  Oh, maybe I mean, I need a life!  What I really need is someone to do the dishes.  Do you remember that Neil Young song "A Man Needs a Maid."  Yeah, that's me.  When I am home my husband takes care of me.  Now I am alone and the kitchen needs a good sweep.  I have to wash my jeans.  REALLY.  ...These are my issues.  I know I am lucky.  I know it.  I need to take a VERY long walk and clear my head.  I will.  I love to walk.  I am trying to find a way to the beach.  "They" say it is impossible, but I will try. Going on 4 years now.  I will find a way to the beach eventually.  I live in hope.  I just have to get a little younger.  Yeah, I can do that!  What was I thinking about?  Whoa, long week.  More tired than I thought.  Got lost in a haze and spaced.  I love this haze of good work and community fatigue.  I say this again and again, but it is too true.  What a weird and wonderful job I have. What strange and interesting people I call friends.  Do you ever notice how, when you can't spell something you just frigging change the word?  Yeah, stream of thought.  I took a class called "Birth of a Poet" at the very hippy school, University of California at Santa Cruz. The professor(? ) had us lie on the floor in the dark  (k, there were mats) and when someone felt the "urge" they would stand up and say a poem or a thought.  A little too touchy-feely for me.  Even then.  (I was 20)

We also had to keep a dream journal.  (K, now y'all want to take this class!)  My dream, that entire quarter was: trying to put a piece of tape on a rotating pipe.  I was never able to do it...in the dream.  Do we think maybe this means I was frustrated?  I reported this in my "dream" journal. There are no grades at UCSC, so, like, whatever!  Apparently that was fine.  I passed. Again "whatever!"  I remember thinking..."like I care.."  (I was pre-med at the time)

I went back to UCLA after a quarter at UCSC.  I was done with the "hippie" thing.  Time now to learn and to think.  It is such a label after all,  Don't like it.  Don't want it.  I am actually too young to have been a "hippie"  I did aspire to it, loved the politics of it, but I was 12 then.  Yeah, wasn't quite ready to leave my family and go join a commune.  I am liberal, but I am also a capitalist.  It is a dichotomy. And it is okay.  I am sure I will talk about this later.  Does anyone remember Janus?